A very full week.

This week has has been huge and not all of it was good.
Sunday we discovered we had no hot water. As it was a long weekend here we didn’t get a plumber until Tuesday.

Having washes in the sink is not fun,esp for 3 teenage girls,but we managed.
Hot water was returned by Wednesday morning as we had to wait for the tank to fill and heat up. Right in time for Miss Lizzie’s for day in Year 12.

Tuesday night was very traumatic for us all as Miss Lizzie’s beloved rabbit Cappuccino passed away very suddenly in front of us all. One minute he was there,the next he was gone. We will all miss him terribly

While we were all very upset about Cappy,I got a shocking headache on the very top of my head. The pain was off the scale and I didn’t know whether to pass out or throw up. It was dreadful. My head is still sore. After a bit of investigation ,it seems it is called a ” thunderclap ” headache and rightly so. I’ll be speaking to my gp about it tomorrow.

Miss Lizzie returned to school,on Wednesday.

Miss Annie and Miss Mary went back to school on Thursday and both are pretty happy with their teachers.

The plumbers came back to finish of the job and we ended up with no hot water AGAIN until Saturday morning. It was very trying.

I had made an appointment to see a specialist after my positive fecal blood test. The appt was March 30th. After getting my test results ,they rang me with an appt on Friday. I have to say,I was pretty scared. I hadn’t asked to be put one cancellation list. My appt was at 12 noon. The doctor was lovely and I am booked in on the 3rd of March for a colonoscopy and a gastroscopy. Needless to say I’m worried.

On Saturday morning we went to a friend of Miss Mary’s to pick up these gorgeous critters
This is Miss Minerva

This is Loki

The plans for the kittens had been in place for a few weeks before Cappy passed away. They are a welcome distraction after losing Cappy.
We are keeping the kittens in Miss Mary’s room for a few dates to get them used to us and hopefully get the other cars used to them. When we brought them in from the car,Calypso took one look and hid in our wardrobe. Luna looked terrified but has since showed some interest.

Zeus,our black outdoor cat,has taken up residence a couple of houses up. We thought he had died as we hadn’t seen him for about 2 weeks. Miss Lizzie found him in their front yard. Seems they are feeding him and he has his own box on their porch. He is very reluctant to come home. I did suggest they stop feeding him so he will come home but obviously they haven’t.


DH’s brother popped into visit the other night.
As he came in the door,he ruffled my hair and said hi. (Umm I’m 52, not 3!!)
I apologised to him for not getting up as I had injured my back that day so he promptly grabbed my ankle and pulled! Then he tickled my foot.
I was livid. Of course it HAD to be my sore side where I had stepped off my front porch,expecting the floor to go on but it didn’t and I badly jarred my hip and my entire side.
Two of my girls came out to say hello to him. Now bear in mind that they haven’t seen him in over a year and this was about the 3rd time they remembered seeing him in their whole lives. Miss Lizzie put out her hand to shake his hand ,he put his hand into hers and grabbed her arm with his other hand and pulled her in and kissed her. She was horrified. We have never pushed physical affection with our girls if they aren’t comfortable. Miss Annie came out and he did exactly the same thing to her.

He is about 65ish. He really needs some lessons in personally space.

Both of the girls disappeared,not wanting anymore contact with him. I hobbled outside to water the garden.
Miss Annie put a note under Miss Mary’s door letting her know her was here visiting. Needless to say,she didn’t appear until AFTER he had left.
He left about 2 hrs later. We were all ( including hubby) relieved to see him go !


Yesterday was a difficult day. Miss Lizzie and I attended a funeral.
The mother of one of her friends had tragically passed away.

It was an eye opener for both of us. Miss Lizzie cried from start to finish.
Me….I sobbed……I tried to quell the tears but I couldn’t. About 20 minutes in,I gave up and just let the tears flow.

To me it was so real. A mother taken before her time.
A grieving daughter left behind. So many reminders,so many things the same.

The service was lovely,filled with wonderful memories and music. I so wish my mothers funeral had been more like that. I barely remember any of it but I know it was sterile and cold and my only concern was the flowers,on top of the coffin,that were the wrong colour.

I was so proud of my girl,how she supported her friends,held them close,listened and cried with them.

After the service as we were walking to the car,Miss Lizzie asked me to stop and she hugged me hard,telling me how much she loved me and how she never wanted me to die like that and that she wanted me to know how very much she does love me.

I have often had doubts about my reason for being on this earth but now I don’t. I now know my job is to guide and support these precious girls. I hope I don’t have to leave them early as my mother did.

2nd January 2014

Today Miss Lizzie gave blood. For the first time

I am so proud I could pop.

She was a bit excited and a bit nervous.

She was very brave

When she was asked why she had decided to give blood,she pointed to a poster and said “because of that little girl,we know her”

Miss Lizzie smiled the whole way through.

She got a sticker for her efforts

I took her out for an iced chocolate afterwards as a reward

I have to admit I felt a bit emotional,

My girl…..she is growing up.

21st October 2013

The last few days have been spent on high alert. Although we are not in the direct line of any of the fires,things can change at any moment

DH and I decided not to send the girls to school today even though the school is open. It is still is the danger zone. I couldn’t have gone through Thursday afternoon again.

Over 200 houses have been lost and 100+ are damaged near the school. I can’t even begin to imagine.

We have talked a lot about what we will do in the event of a fire. About how we will get the animals out,about what special things we would take with us,what essentials to pack.

Miss Annie suffers from cabin fever so we try to get her out of the house for a few hours each days. A short drive to a nearby village for a walk and a milkshake.

Honestly,I’m a mess but trying hard to hide it. Days have been filled with movies and knitting. Mindless knitting that keeps my hands busy but doesn’t need a pattern as I don’t have the brainpower to follow one. Trying to think of cool,filling meals that will keep hungry tummies filled.

Temperatures will be hot today,36C where we are ,along with strong winds.

There is concern that all 3 fires may join up and become a mega-fire. That idea fills me with terror.

Smoke fills the air. All the washing had to be rewashed due to the smell. So we are washing and hanging the clothes inside the house on airers. Miss Mary and I are battling with breathing problems. Puffers are being used a lot.

DH spent a lot of the weekend cutting down branches and cleaning out gutters. Miss Lizzie continued his work today when he went to work.

I realised to my horror that our contents insurance hadn’t been updated so I hastily fixed that up yesterday.

DH’s work is worried about their residents and is thinking of moving them to other nursing homes in Sydney.

I just want to lay down and sleep and make it all go away. Sadly that wont happen. No rain is forecast for days.

10th September 2013

It was a hot and windy day. Very odd for the first weeks of spring

A bushfire sprung up near the girls high school. I went to collect Miss Annie and the traffic was very heavy so i pulled off the road and messaged her to come to the car. We went to the shops while we waited for the the others to finish music group.

We had a milkshake and chatted. Some of the shops started to close up even though it was only 3.30pm. We watched the smoke from the fire. I got a text from Miss Mary that they had been told to evacuate the school. MIss Mary,Miss Lizzie and their friend D,walked up to the shops to meet us. There were helicopters and the sound filled me with fear. The noise of choppers takes me right back to the fires of 94-95 when we were evacuated from our brand new house in Kariong and slept on the Gosford waterfront in a tent.

We drove home and passed many fire trucks. When we arrived home we found the tv news was filled with news of the fire. The main road had been cut off and they were preparing residents to evacuate.

The girls were frantic about some of their friends who live near the school. We watched the rfs site and the news. It burned and burned. For 3 days. Over 1000 hectares were lost. Thankfully no lives were lost but about 7 firefighters were injured.
School was cancelled on Wednesday but I had already made up my mind to not send the girls as there is only or road in and one road out.

It was very stressful for all concerned. I’m so pleased no one was killed and no homes were lost.

Ahhh the joys of living in the bush.

19th August 2013


Do I go to my group tomorrow or not?

My hip has been horrible for 10 days now. The pain is horrific and I am shuffling along like an old,decrepit thing. I can’t cook as standing for 5-7 mins is NOT possible at all. I find myself asking for more and more help,which I hate to do.

Saturday DH took Miss Mary and Miss Annie to the local shops as they were getting a bit rowdy and he thought some fresh sir would do them good. I doped myself up and went to bed. Miss Lizzie studied. Sunday we had plans to go to some local markets but again I stayed at home with Miss Lizzie.

It just plain sucks,I am over this pain. Usually my flares only last a few days bit this one has been a doozy!i honestly don’t know if I can drive the car that far (40 mins each way )then sit all day in
horrible chairs. The thought of having to go to the gym makes me break out in hot sweats…..

I did manage to finish Miss Mary’s cardi. I will show it when I have blocked it and sewed buttons on. I have started a new project. A lovely shawl.

Oh yes the girls did the 40hour famine over the weekend. I am so proud of them! Miss Lizzie went without food and furniture and raised $100. Miss Annie went without furniture and technology and raised $60.Miss Mary went without furniture and thumbs and raised $50. All of them were very grateful to be able to sleep in their own beds on Sunday night. I am proud that my girls think of others.


11th August 2013

This weekend has been shrouded in pain,teeth clenched and not breathing

I woke yesterday morning with a hip that did not want to work and was screaming at me for being out of place

I have spent the time popping pain killers and drifting in and out of sleep

It’s hard to get comfortable ,tossing and turning. Walking is only possible with Michael (Caine/cane) and its not really walking,it’s more kind of shuffling along.

I hear things but can’t really do much about them,Luna meowing for food,knocks at the front door,messages on my phone,music being played,tv on.

Miss Mary cut her finger badly on a mirror,she was very brave. She got a tea towel(remembering what her dad did when he cut his finger ) wrapped her finger and then came to me. She had sliced a layer of skin off and it was bleeding badly. I found some gauze and tape and wrapped it tightly. So far,all is well.

Miss Lizzie went to sing at the local Vietnam Veterans Day. It went very well. She said she feels very funny in her school uniform on a Sunday. LOL.

Luna has taken to yodelling ‘loudly’ when she wants food. She wanders around the house,meowing like she is being strangled by some strange being. I try to find her and the yodelling gets louder and louder. It’s NOT fun.

Calypso came and sat on my lap last night. The first time since we got Luna 2 months ago. It was lovely. She is very cuddly and smoochy.

I hope my hip is better by tomorrow as I have an appointment with my doctor,the one instead of last Thursday where I waited for an hour before anyone remembered she wasn’t there. I HAVE to go as I am nearly out of some meds.

7th August 2013.

Today is what I would consider a ‘bad’ day.

Yesterday I went to my course,I was running late after having to drop Miss Lizzie off at a choir rehearsal and then it took me 35 mins to get into the hospital car park. I won’t go into detail about boom gates not working,people not paying before trying to leave the car park,lining up to get out and then going to pay their fee whilst leaving the car at the boom gates,sitting in the sun for over30 mins and nearly nodding off.

We went to the gym and I struggled,I was already sore but I still tried. The physio had words with me about the placement of my feet. I did ballet for years and hence when doing exercise,I point my toes.

She said to me ” that’s not normal!” ” stand with your feet side by side” I find that difficult. She asked me to stand pigeon toed,again,I couldn’t do it.

Again, ” that’s not normal” gee thanks lady. I’m doing my best,every joint hurts and I am very tired but I’m trying.

I left at the normal time and picked my daughter up from choir. I was very tired and very sore.

Getting out of the car was difficult.

Sleep was hard to come by and when the alarm finally went off at 6am,I knew there was no way I could take Miss Annie to band. I told her and then crawled back into bed.

I woke a few hours later,stiff,sore and swollen. My ribs hurt when I breathe. I can’t straighten my hands out Tea will be store bought BBQ chicken.

It has been hard the last few days,physically and emotionally.

The was a drama with Miss Lizzie and the band master and the principal over a choir performance

There was bullying and it didn’t come from my daughter.

Tears ensued and angry words followed.

I am so disappointed in our school and its treatment of my child. She doesn’t want to make a fuss. Her decision to attend was made purely on the fact that ” it will get the teachers and principal off my back”. And that her non attendance would be punished with her not being allowed to attend her vocal group and vocal ensemble for 18 months. Singing is her favourite thing in life.

So sad.


My latest knitting

It started out as a cardigan for Miss Lizzie’s 16th birthday

But sadly it was too small for her but fits Miss Annie perfectly

It is unusually constructed. You knit the lace panel first and block it.
Then cast on and knit the top part and the collar. Then you cast on the bottom part of the lace panel and knit the rest of the cardigan.



This pattern pushed me quite a bit. I had to learn how to do a provisional cast on for the lace,short rows and button holes.
Ravelled here