Depression. It is me,it lives in me and through me. 

I often feel like that is all I am. 

I have many things to do but I can’t muster up enough energy and enthusiasm to do them. 

I set my alarm most mornings and then turn it off again after yet another dreadful night. 

Then I wake again hours later,I’m cross because I went back to sleep again. 

I have no enthusiam for anything. I want to,I really do but the black dog seems to swallow me up. 

Along with the fibro,life is very hard. I hurt all over. The soles of my feet are especially painful at the moment,my fingers are swollen, my ongoing headache is still ongoing……2 years and 6 months and the backain that is ever present.  Some days i want to bang my head against a brick wall. 

I honestly don’t know how to keep going. I don’t know if I want to. 

I know the girls need me and I know how devastated I was to lose my own mother when I was 21. But it is so hard to keep on going every bloody day. 

I want to crawl into a hole and stay there. 


3 thoughts on “Depression

  1. It is so hard to maintain a balanced mind and clear head in the face of pain. is sleep good?? I hope your doctor can help with your back pain and yes, people do need you!!

  2. You’re my “oldest” Internet friend. *I* need you! I consider you one of the strongest women I know, simply because in the face of great physical pain and depression, you persevere. I don’t think it matters if you persevere “well” or badly, because you do it anyway.

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