Depression. It is me,it lives in me and through me.
I often feel like that is all I am.
I have many things to do but I can’t muster up enough energy and enthusiasm to do them.
I set my alarm most mornings and then turn it off again after yet another dreadful night.
Then I wake again hours later,I’m cross because I went back to sleep again.
I have no enthusiam for anything. I want to,I really do but the black dog seems to swallow me up.
Along with the fibro,life is very hard. I hurt all over. The soles of my feet are especially painful at the moment,my fingers are swollen, my ongoing headache is still ongoing……2 years and 6 months and the backain that is ever present. Some days i want to bang my head against a brick wall.
I honestly don’t know how to keep going. I don’t know if I want to.
I know the girls need me and I know how devastated I was to lose my own mother when I was 21. But it is so hard to keep on going every bloody day.
I want to crawl into a hole and stay there.