I’m opening this blog up again as I have a rather urgent need to write.
There are a lot of things I’m dealing with at the moment and I need a safe place to get my feelings out.
I have had a call back from the breast screen place. I had a feeling I would but it doesn’t make it any easier. I’m now almost the same age my mum was when she died from breast cancer. She was dxed in the July and passed away the following February.
To be honest I’m a mess. I’m trying to hold it together but not doing very well. I have decided not to tell the girls until I know anything for certain.
I had a funeral to go to this week. A gorgeous lady I went to school with,the same age as me had passed away suddenly. Then I got a phone call from my gp saying I needed to make an appointment ASAP and of course my gp only works on Thursdays the day the funeral was on. I was very upset about not being able to go to the funeral as I really wanted to go but also to catch up with some friends from schools,one of whom had flown down from Queensland.
I walked into the surgery and she tells me there was a positive test on my bowel tests. I was stunned to say the least. I broke down and cried. Something I try very hard not to do.I told her about the breast cancer results and the funeral and she knows my brother has prostate cancer.
She encouraged me to have a good cry and let it all out. She said it is pretty common for people to break down at the drs as often it’s the only safe,anonymous place they can do it.
So I need a colonoscopy to check for bowel cancer. Oh yay.
I go to the breast clinic on Thursday. Seems it will be a long visit.
I came home to find out another friend has breast cancer for the third time.
It just seems like cancer is all around me.
I want to go and sit in the corner and rock and not have to talk to anyone.