6th November 2013

Some movies should come with warnings

With large red letters on the cover

Yelling ‘ someone dies of cancer in this movie’

I watched this movie today and I assumed it was a love story

I sobbed myself stupid

Crying for over 3 hours

Missing my mother

Cursing myself for not being there with her enough

For not being there when she died

For not being there

Crying for the life I thought I would have

A life without pain

A normal life

A life without fibromyalgia or depression

No one of my family signed up for this

My husband did not marry this sick,tired woman

He married a bright,bubbly,happy,competent woman

Not me.

My girls do not deserve this sad,tired,old woman for their mother

They deserve so much better

They deserve a mother who can get out of bed and drive them to the station every day without fear of being late for school

They deserve a mother who has energy to do things with them

I don’t know what I did to deserve this.

I hate my life now

I hate it.

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