17th October 2013.

My body is really falling apart. It hurts all over.There is pain in my hips and back.

I am so so tired. Even when I wake I am exhausted.

I crave sleep,like a drug,I think about it all the time and yet,often when I go to bed,I can’t sleep.so I lie awake late into the night and can barely get out of bed in the mornings.

My body fails me in many ways. Walking is difficult,thinking is hard……the joys of the fibro “fog”. The tremor in my left rm which makes doing a lot of things very difficult.

I want so badly to knit but can’t follow a pattern so now I am down to knitting squares or strips to made into a blanket at a later date. My hands need to be busy and I can knit and purl without thinking.

Miss Annie has band on Wednesday mornings and I am really struggling to get her there.

I have been making enquiries about anything else there is that would be appropriate for her that happens in the afternoon or evening.

I have found one such thing but of course it happens on the same day as when Miss Lizzie and Miss Mary have vocal group. I think it may be doable.One of Miss Annie’s friends goes so that could be a plus.

I feel like such a failure. I can’t get my girl to a simple band practise once a week. I feel so slack.

Useless. Yes that’s the word…useless.

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5 thoughts on “17th October 2013.

  1. Don’t feel useless. You are trying to do all that you can do and your body is fighting you every step of the way. Anyone with Fibro understands that. Take life day by day, remember to breathe. Wishing you luck!

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