14th August 2013

I didn’t go to my course this week,the past weeks had rendered me useless the following day so I wasn’t able to take Miss Annie to band. So she had missed out on 3 weeks. I felt incredibly guilty about this.

So instead I slept in and then picked the kids up from vocal group. My hip was still bothering me,a lot. I was limping and still using my stick. I took Miss Annie to school this morning and then I dropped the other two off at the coffee shop for a hot chocolate.

I drove home,so tired and I was in agony as I got out of the car. I stumbled inside,threw down some painkillers and fell into bed. Thankfully I slept. In my sleep,I turned over and felt a loud thud as my hip re-aligned. The pain eased immediately.

I felt almost normal for a few hours this afternoon. I worked on Miss Mary’s cardigan,ate tea with my family. Then the pain kicked in again. My hip was complaining again. The muscles were yellng from being stretched out of place for 5 days.

I am sick of the pain. Exhaustion takes over my life. I am sick of joints that pop in and out but no one wants to know about them. I rarely cook tea anymore. My husband looks at me and sighs,I know things must be bad when he looks at me like that.

I was very humbled this morning when I had to ask Miss LIzzy to put my socks on for me as I couldn’t bend my leg. She was lovely and most concerned. I hate having to ask the kids to do anything for me as they already do way too much as it is.

I have a twitch in my left arm that comes and goes. My legs twitch too. I get a tic in my eye and often one in my lip as well. There is numbness in one leg,sometimes going right down to my foot so I can’t feel ‘where’ my foot actually is,about 4 of my fingers are numb too. I get odd ‘blind’ spots when I am tired.

I am struggling. Really struggling.

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